For those of you you’ve read this from the beginning you know that my abuse started before I was 12 and once I was 14 my life has been a constant fight for revenge. You could say my life is one giant chess game and every move I make is getting me a step closer to what I feel I need to do which was taking down those who harmed me and the one that controls them.
I started this blog for my therapist to read because I have a reputation of fucking my therapist so now they try to keep me out of their offices.
My blog was never meant for anything but a therapeutic way to get my demons out but slowly it turned into something more.
I get emails all the time “No way this is real” Believe me I wish my life’s problems only involved…..Trying to get pregnant~ Enjoying married life~Kids~working~paying bills~dealing with everyday kinda drama. But I wasn’t blessed with that kind of life.
The best emails I get are the ones I get from my male readers because the only reason they find it hard to believe is simply because I’m a girl.
I’ve never been a damsel in distress so I forget that in this society woman are not allowed or believed to be strong in some people’s eyes. Agreed anyone man or woman who’s gone through what I’ve gone through might have a different life.
It’s amazing to people and sometimes myself that I turned my tragedy into triumph….. But don’t forget you’re reading 16years crammed into a few post on 1 blog my triumph didn’t happen overnight it took years of actual blood, sweat and tears.
I’ve lost children, some friends, and my entire family over the course of these 16+ years.
After finding out that the two people I trusted most in my life were behind the events that led me down a never ending road of pain and revenge… I was broken.
So for the past few months I’ve been focusing on my marriage and making it out of my first trimester so I stepped down from managing the Vixens and told the Rejects to keep whatever vicious plans they had to themselves for the time being.
Stepping back from the only life I know wasn’t easy by any means….. My mornings used to start off with me planning someone’s demise over breakfast. But for the past few months my mornings have been less exciting I wake up cook breakfast for my husband and try any and everything to keep my mind off my other life.
As you know the main reason for my decision to step down from my old life was my husband…. I risked a lot and lost a lot but when the threat of losing him became too real I had no doubts about putting my revenge and ego on the shelf.
I’m happy to announce I’m now 14 weeks pregnant and out of my first trimester with a healthy little Runner on the way. And even more excited to announce my doctor gave me the green light to live my life completely unaware of the kind of life I live.